Product Review: The Comfy Baby Jail

Recently my mother was given the opportunity to review something she calls a 'travel crib'. Although she got it for free, I'm pretty sure she says whatever she wants about it anyway.

Well I didn't get it for free, and I'm going to blow the cover off this story. (Is it off the story? Maybe it's on the story. Do I even have a legitimate saying here? I digress...)

When I first spied this package in the mail, I was nearly certain it was going to be a toy for me. You know, because toys come in beautiful, big, brown packages that the Up-Man leaves.

I lost interest when mom pulled it out because it looked like it was just another box. Oh, how wrong I was.

About a week later, we all piled into the car. It was a Tuesday. Light sprinkling. A bit of wind. My last vestiges of freedom. Had I only known!

We headed to one of my favorite places to eat bugs: the park.

I love the park. There are all kinds of things there that are delicious to put into your mouth. The dirt feels crumbly, the sticks are chewy... sometimes I even find a spare bottle-cap or two that someone thoughtfully left behind in the grass. The park is an adventure in taste not to be outdone!

This time was different though.

Mom had brought along the usual sandwiches - tasteless white bread, bland turkey, the off-brand of mayo... (the nerve of her!) She clearly is not cut out for catering a family picnic. There were chips too, of course, but I prefer to crunch those into the dirt before I eat them.

I went off in search of something that would satisfy the gourmand in me and (luckily) I wasn't disappointed! There in the grass, just a few feet away, was the most beautiful duck feather I'd ever seen! There were a few ants crawling on it... something sticky on the side... even a bit of mud. Glorious!

I've got to hand it to my mom... for being SO old (and I mean geez is she old, I think she's almost 30) she can move really fast. I didn't even get to taste that feather before she had snatched me up and plunked me down into some sort of a cage.

I was flabbergasted! Where had this contraption come from? My mother fed me bits of sandwich & chips from the open area above the cage. I tried like mad to climb out, but these chubby legs just couldn't do it.

Still in a state of awe and shock, I munched on the less-than-savory meal provided (I understand now the term 'prison-food') and began to plot my escape. Plans were going well until I realized that the cage had some sort of super-powered hold on me! I was beginning to fall asleep due to the oh-so-comfy-softness of the mattress below.

I couldn't resist it's hold any longer and before I knew it I awoke in the car. I screamed with a fury, but alas! - there was no help for it. My chance to eat bugs and run free with duck feathers blowing through my hair had passed.

Since then, I have been sent to this comfy baby jail a number of times, which led to my discovery that this baby jail can be assembled in just a few seconds out of that mundane-looking box my mother received! And because it's so 'easy-to-carry', she's been taking it with us everywhere we go! I haven't had the opportunity to eat sand, drink puddle water, or even bite through a flower in the past two weeks!

I give this baby jail 2 out of 3 stars. One star because it's doing what it's supposed to. One star because it's cozy. And one minus star because it is severely impacting my ability to get into trouble.